Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize