You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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