He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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