we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize