ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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