So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
