Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
