drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I smell like Dick and happiness
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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