The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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