I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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