did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
