You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
