I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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