do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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