Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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