And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
