Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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