I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
