I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
