Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
