woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
