oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm always down for nudity.
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