just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
