i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
