He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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