He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
