Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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