The maid of honor just puked.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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