We won't sleep together?
so that wasnt chicken after all
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
