Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think I just sharted jello shots
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
