Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
