Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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