proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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