so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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