hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
