So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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