Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
