i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
