based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
