need another drink. this is the easiest way
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
