These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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