soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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