I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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