I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
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