I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize