I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
