Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
