Where did you get a picture of my penis
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
