we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
