i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
