how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
