yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
