are you so shy because you have an std?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
