Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i dont even know how to be here
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
