come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
