i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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