If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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