literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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