I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
